Conversation skill is something which can make or ruin your life. You have got it right, your conservation skill can either make you Mr. President or Mr. Worthless in the eye of others. It does not matter whether you face a formal interview or bargain for a rickshaw fare, good conversation skills make your tasks easy. Whether you agree or not, it is true that most explosive gun armory you have with yourself is 'WORDS'. WORDs which you choose everyday whether consciously or unconsciously actually make you smart, foolish, bold, brave or anything in between to others. Daniel Webster who served as U.S. Secretary of the state between 1850-1852, necessitated of conversation skills by saying, "If all my talents and powers were to be taken from me by some inscrutable providence, and I had choice of keeping but one, I would unhesitatingly ask to be allowed to keep the power of speaking, for through it I would quickly recover all the rest."
Research suggests successful and powerful persons have four habits which if you can make your own, you will sound more confident and most importantly a powerful communicator.
1. Powerful people think before saying anything. Any of the speeches powerful people deliver seems like worth saying. This is because whenever anything pops into their head, they give it a second thought. They strive to find an answer, "Why should anyone care about my saying or idea?" If they find their idea worth saying, they will express, otherwise they will let it go. An American public speaking coach, Dianna Booher once said, "If you can't write your message in a sentence, you can't say it in an hour." That's how weighty your visualisation is!
2. They empower others. They are not powerful because they hold power. Rather they are powerful because they empower others. Powerful people will make you feel at home every time you speak to them. They will ask in a meaningful way about your life, ideas and even families. They will instill the idea in your mind that they care about you a lot. Silence and asking meaningful questions are two of the ways by which they make you feel empowered. Powerful people believe that extra pauses in conservation make their words more thoughtful. They do not fill empty space with something like 'uhh', 'ah', 'hmm', 'ohh' etc. Rather, they simply stop talking as Marcus Tullius Cicero said, "Silence is one of the great arts of conversation." On top of that, powerful people will allow you plenty of time to talk, this will make you feel attached. Thus, by empowering others, they become powerful in conversation.
3. They will show your mistakes indirectly. While conversing, it is never expected that you will agree with everything. Powerful people will never show their disappointment directly. You will never hear them to say, "I disagree with you", "You are wrong". Rather, you will find them saying, "I understand your point, and there's another point to be considered too". Don't be afraid of pointing out mistakes. The conversation will be dull and mundane if everyone agrees in everything.
4. They have varied intonation. Powerful people use new and varied pattern of intonation. For that, they never seem as boring. The most powerful people use a lot of intonations, tones to suit a suitable emotional expression to their saying. Their varieties of tones naturally captivate the audiences and make them hear in control.
Nothing has happened overnight, so is true for your conversation skills too. Developing these skills will take time, but this is true even for the powerful people. The rule is simple: The harder you try, the more natural you get.
The writer is a student of Faculty of Business Studies, University of Dhaka, [email protected]
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