There is no dearth of books and articles that preach how to outshine peers, how to be competitive, how to be the ripest apple of the cherry on the cake. There are times when one might find oneself incapable of talking with people who do not align with the same mindset as one’s and the conversation with someone having a different mind can be draining. A common problem with that is most of the time the person in question might have ended up developing an inferiority complex. This can put a damper on relationships.
It usually feels good to be a big fish, but how is the case if it involves a small pond? It is likely for talent to seek out other talent. And maybe, this other talent is more talented than himself/herself. One might feel threatened, might be upended on the days thinking that it's all about others and not about himself or herself. In times like these, it is important to remember the value of friendship. Think of the times when someone had succeeded and they were still supportive. Should one not do the same?
That depends on two things and both determine whether they can actually be friends or not. First of all, determine if they are supportive, or they are the ones being bitter when it is time for others to shine. The second question one should ask is-- do people associate with them because they are considered equal and had the intention of becoming a fan? A healthy relationship relies on balance. If this person is really a friend, the one must see each other as equal. Otherwise, it turns to be a superior-subordinate relationship.
If one comes to the conclusion that this, in fact, is a friend, i.e. this person had been a great support in the past and is considered an equal, the right thing to do would be to support them back. This is why it is helpful to remember the value of friendship in life. In order to preserve this valuable thing, both parties must equally contribute. So when one remembers the worth of friendship, he or she should be reassured and not feel challenged.
In addition to valuing friendship, it is a good rule of thumb to be mindful of one's relationship with surroundings. If the goal is to be the best version of oneself, a large part of it should be dedicated to knowing and maintaining a place in the world. If someone wants to be a leader, it is crucial to maintain harmony amongst other leaders.
Nobody likes a person who is always "Me! Me! Me!" If someone wants to rise above the ranks to the top, one must be able to recognise, value, and harmonise with the ones who will put him or her there. Therefore, support should be provided where support is due. It is impossible to do things alone. So when a friend talks about his/her promotion when things have not been going so great for the other person, it is wise to remember to just be happy. It is a unified gain, if it contributes to harmony.
The writer is a student at North South University. She can be reached at
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