When are parents compelled to flee their oppressive sons? It is at a time when they are old and infirm and cannot take the latter into confidence. A report carried in a Bangla contemporary is overwhelmingly distressing. It relates to an old couple from Singair, Manikganj, who were physically tortured by their two middle-age sons and their daughters-in-law so much that the oppressors thought the two were dead. It is all because, the sons and their wives pressed for transferring entitlement of all moveable and immovable property to their names. But their parents refused to do so. So, the two were subjected to physical torture by their own sons and daughters-in-law.
Fortunately for the old couple, they did not succumb to the physical torture and on regaining their consciousness, the duo went to the local police station to lodge a case against their cruel sons and daughters-in-law. But the police did not accept the case. After three days' futile attempts, they went to the court of the judicial magistrate in order to file a case. Now the parents fear that if their sons come to know about institution of a case against them, they may kill the old man and woman. This is why the old couple is spending anxious moments and away from the pursuers of their own flesh.
How tragic! Material consideration turns people insane to the point where they can commit any crime including matricide and patricide. It is not the only such incident that jolts any normal person's conscience. Only a few days before this deplorable incident, a widow in her mid sixty had been ousted from home by her own son and daughter-in-law before physically torturing her. She also lodged a case. Happily, here the police station readily accepted the complaint. Some years back, an old and infirm mother was persuaded to pay a visit to a relation's house but only to be abandoned at a village market somewhere in Gazipur.
Not all adult sons and daughters turn fiendish to their parents in the latter's old age. But the number is growing. There are no statistics on such parents, nor all such incidents come to light. At the lower level of society, it turns out to be a trauma for the victims. They start disbelieving their own flesh which is responsible for creating monsters of a Frankenstein proportion. There is no solace for themselves as they curse themselves for the sin committed by their own sons and (rarely) daughters.
In upper society, the problem is of a different type. Daughters, if they are married, may live far away from their parents. Their sons and daughters-in law are so busy that they cannot spend time with their parents. Where there is an only son, one who has to make frequent tours and if his wife is also a career woman, there is every chance that a single parent will feel abandoned or neglected. This may happen even if it is unintentional on the part of the son or his wife. In extreme cases, though, sons or daughters-in-law can migrate to a Western country leaving behind their parents at home.
What do old people do when there is none to look after them? They are most vulnerable because gone are the days when trusted caregivers or servants were always at their beck and call. They may have enough money for living a good life but without loving ones nearby their physical and mental comfort and peace are always at risk. Many have now opted for old homes where at least they get company of like-minded people. In some Western countries and even in neighbouring India, such facilities have been taken to professional perfection but here those are yet to be advanced to a desirable standard.
As for ensuring the financial security and care for parents in their old age, a law has thankfully been enacted in this country. But at the bottom level of society, families riven with poverty, illiteracy and disputes, the legal provision can hardly make a positive impact. After all who cares about it, unless the law enforcers compassionately look at such matters when those are brought to their notice? In the Singair case, the local police station reportedly did not receive the complaint because there police officers were either appeased or couldn't care less.