Most of us have seen it; those that haven't might want to dig it out of YouTube archives but in the end the long-standing message sent out through the original Jungle Book's lovable Baloo, the bear, continues to be ignored. 'The simple bare necessities of life' is all about keeping life simple to enjoy it all the more. So what's new? Not much. The universal tendency of the human race to unnecessarily convolute everything is what comes in between complexity and simplicity. Whosoever came up with the concept of 'process' cannot have had insidious. Those who followed in his footsteps are the guilty party. Meant to simplify and streamline work and life, these processes invariably result in boring, lengthy processes not worth the time spent on them.
The colonial legacies that harangue our footsteps, though some take pride in them, had two specific designs - to create a clerical fiefdom over which the Raj would prevail and provide systems where there had been none. The tragedy of it all is that while the British have moved on, simplifying these processes and flattening fiefdom structures, most of the Raj countries hold them close to their chests. The irony is when organisations from the British and others descend to help redefine the same processes. Some of these were purpose-designed to add weight to specific positions along with unlawful pecuniary benefits. Understandably, those that occupy the more lucrative positions are the ones fiercely strongly opposed to change. Laws, rules and land processes jump to mind as the ones that have deliberately been kept dense.
Along with processes come forms that are lengthy, often contain outdated and unnecessary inputs most of which no one reads to begin with. Matters have come to such a pass that those forms no longer require all fields to be filled. Oh, but the forms must continue to be printed! It wouldn't do without them. So while the critical debate over interest rates of bonds rage, no one thinks of simplifying the interest payments that requiring annoying, squiggled signatures on stamp-size receipts. And for all the tree-hugging enthusiasts, the photocopy shops do business that provides continuous and significant business growth.
Such is the love-affair with forms that templates are available for the curriculum vitaes not to mention the admission documents in schools, colleges and universities. Hospitals, especially private ones, have raised efficiency levels so as to require updating patient details at every department of consultation. That after having patient detail buried somewhere in the servers of their information technology (IT) system. This scribe is witness to a multinational that required twenty-nine signatories for a product to leave the manufacturing base. It took an irate Managing Director and a directed internal audit team to discover that in reality only nine signatures were required. All the others were part of an outdated system no one bothered to look at.
Unfortunately, this same scribe faced a situation where a leading private bank teller had to ask a senior whether two cheques drawn on the same bank could be deposited on one deposit slip. And to cap it all, the same bank had little compunction of stamping a date that preceded the date of deposit. When it was pointed out the change was affected but with a shrug of shoulders - it doesn't matter.
Hang on a mo! If the deposit slip had been dated ahead of the date of the cheque, the clearing bank would have sent it back -apparently not so in this case. And wonders will never cease to be. Because a depositor is honest enough to Saif in the KYC that he/she isn't sure about transactions to be made monthly the bank shuts him/her off from withdrawing any money. Mind you, only withdrawals. Even one guilty as such can deposit all they like! And that's because the truth, stranger than fiction isn't good enough. The lie is encouraged. Rest assured they won't rush to your home and office to have it rectified. After all it isn't a loan that brings hefty bonuses with it. Its looking for a needle in a haystack of corruption; albeit the wrong haystack.
mahmudrahman@mail.com