At her age, she ought to have been the delight of her parents' eyes, moving like a butterfly before her indulging grandpas and grandmas. But it was not to be for 10-year old Niti. Born to parents who parted ways five years ago, the little girl had too acute a sensibility to feel accommodated in the socio-economic and cultural space around. Her father is a paint carpenter and her mother a garments worker. Their child perhaps had no clear idea about divorce her father and mother opted for after her father married second time in 2015. Her mother also found a new partner and left for Dhaka, leaving her behind.
When the little one was welcome neither to her mother nor to her father's new families, she was staying with her maternal grandparents for sometime but soon they also gave up the responsibility. She was then growing up under her paternal grandma's care in Andharupara village under Nalitabari upazila in Sherpur. On Tuesday last, Niti has drawn the curtain on her life -she hanged herself. Neglect and rejection apparently have been too overpowering for so little a girl to take recourse to this ultimate step.
In disjointed letters, she has poured out the anguish of her wounded soul in what can be called a suicide note: "Mother-father, you don't love me. Grandma-grandpa (maternal) also do not love me. None of you think of me, love me. So, I am leaving you all. No one is responsible for my death". Few can feel the pain and trauma children of broken families go through.
Clearly, here little Niti was born with extra sensibility unlike other children in her social position and condition. It was her wounded heart -more appropriate word in Bangla is abhiman -that prompted her to take the ultimate decision. Children of her age are likely to be dissuaded from this type of self annihilation out of fear but if abhiman (which no English word can paraphrase) gets the better of fear, even a small child of her age can bring an end to his or her life so prematurely.
A family is no plaything. Changing wives and husbands has long become an established norm in Western societies. In upper class societies here, it has mercifully not become a new norm. But at the bottom level of society it has not only become a new norm but almost an epidemic. In slums the proximity of shanties brings men and women from unfamiliar backgrounds closer. There is no chain of command and if there is any, it can be avoided easily in this mega city by opting for shelter in a different slum.
Many single mothers in slums are the worst sufferers. When their husbands leave them, leaving no information of their whereabouts, women have to raise their children. Even in conditions like this they have to choose between their children and suitors unless they are too old. The majority of the domestic helps in the city have suffered the saga of such marriages and rejection. There is hardly any need for formal divorce because mostly the second, third or fourth marriages are solemnised secretly without disclosing their marital status.
Deprived and neglected, children of many such families waste away and take to petty crimes. When they attain adulthood, they get involved in various serious criminal activities. The bottom stratum of city life cannot be left uncared for in the interest of national well-being. Little Niti's tragic end should act as an eye-opener for policymakers. People at the bottom must be pulled out of the dungeon and rehabilitated to a decent living. No one likes to see repetition of tragedies like that of Niti.