Anyone attending university for a bachelor's degree looks forward to graduation for four years, not just for the ceremony but also for finishing school, finding dream work and life, and finally feeling like a real grown-up. However, for many people, the change from being a student to an ‘adult’ is complicated and accompanied by emotions of regret, sadness, and uncertainty.
This post-graduation sadness can spiral out of control, become intolerable, and feel overpowering for some graduates. A huge issue that arises when you graduate from university is ‘what to do next’. Some graduates may experience depression because they are unsure of their next steps and are under financial pressure. Education has formerly offered order, routine, and security. You were perfectly aware of what was obligated to you and what you had to do to be successful. In essence, it became your comfort zone.
In other words, whether young individuals obtain their first jobs or are about to graduate, being in the twenties is frequently perplexing and lonely. Additionally, when these youngsters work to establish their status as adults, their environment sends them conflicting messages. Despite any career or personal accomplishments, people still view them as 'kids', particularly before they get married and have kids.
According to recent studies by British psychologists from the University of Greenwich in London, many young adults are going through a ‘quarter-life crisis’ due to their struggles to deal with worries about their careers, finances, and personal relationships. This phenomenon, which exhibits all the symptoms of the midlife crisis and is marked by uncertainties, disappointments, loneliness, and sadness, is most likely to affect educated professionals in their twenties and thirties as they transition into the 'real world'.
Mushfequl Abrar, who obtained MBA from IBA, Dhaka University and then joined as a management trainee officer (MTO) in City Bank, has his own story of struggles and success of his quarter-life crisis. "I had a very clear idea of where I wanted to go. I actively worked on my LinkedIn account and tried to make my resume exactly how the recruiters would like it. Before landing the MTO job, I worked in an MFS (mobile financial services) and learnt new skills. However, the road wasn't smooth, and I looked for support from friends when needed. There were times when I got exhausted and realistically speaking, we don't always get called for interviews every time we apply for a job." Mushfequl also said that he took disappointments as something positive in life so that he could work and learn better.
Abrarul Hasan Rahat, a resident of Uttara in Dhaka and a CSE (computer science and engineering) graduate from BRAC University, works at a leading software company as a technical analyst intern. When asked about his quarter-life crisis right after graduation, he said, "I felt very lost and frustrated. Things got better when I got called for an internship. This brought a good sense to my life because I had something meaningful to do." When asked about his plans for the future, he said, "The feeling of loss is coming back as I am almost at the end of my internship. Now that I have to secure a full-time job, I am unsure whether I can stay in the same company or get a job elsewhere. The current state of my life is very uncertain, and I don't have a fixed goal yet. The market is very saturated, and the competition is high." Rahat felt more secure and comfortable in his university life compared to the life he has now.
Asif Khaled, who completed BBA from Independent University, Bangladesh last year and recently moved to Australia to pursue his master's in Macquarie University in Business Analytics, had a similar experience as Rahat. He said, "I finished my internship in September last year and never pursued a full-time job because I was sure I would go abroad for my master's." However, there was a time when his VISA was getting delayed, and he almost fell into depression. According to him, "That period of uncertainty took a toll on my mental health, and I did not know what to expect or where my life was going. I even gave up at one point because I thought I wouldn't get the VISA."
Nahin Sultana, adjunct faculty of North South University in the Department of Marketing and International Business, shared that the first step towards navigating this quarter-life crisis is managing our expectations and evaluating ourselves properly. For example, students with a high CGPA may expect a top-tier job with a high salary, but there is a difference between reality and expectations. It is essential to network with alumni to get an accurate picture of the job market. Also, for a lot of people, it may take time to land the first job, and hence they get depressed. She mentioned, "Fresh grads shouldn't confine themselves to a concrete standard but rather focus on learning new skills and getting experiences." Most importantly, the onus also falls on society because fresh grads feel pressurised because of all the questions and lack of support. She said, "We must create awareness about the crisis and encourage people to be positive, give space and not ask unnecessary questions. Fourth-year students are also advised to see their university counsellors for better mental health."
Tahsin Abir, residing at Banani in Dhaka is a senior business analyst at a leading European IT company. His take on navigating through the quarter-life crisis is, "You need to keep learning, and you need to keep pushing yourself. In most cases, fresh grads get disappointed when they don't land jobs in big-shot MNCs. However, your first job does not define your career". When asked for clarification about job and career, he said, "It is important to identify what you want to do, you might have a shift in career after getting your first job. Stability is a vague term because it's about how comfortable you get in your job with time. Eventually, it's up to the candidate how they want to run in the rat race. Grab any opportunity you get and start working."
Before you've had an opportunity to get to know yourself well enough to know what you want to do with your life, our culture wants you to know already what you want to do with the rest of your life. You come to understand who you are as a person via the process of making your own decisions, working different jobs, meeting new people, relocating, and travelling.
As we become older, we learn to see things more clearly, have more confidence in ourselves, and understand that the sometimes-piercing emotions do not have to devour us. It is not necessarily bad just because something is unsettling or frightening. People don't always recognise how stressful and difficult circumstances can present the best possibilities for self-growth. Although growth is uncomfortable, it is worth it to become the person you were meant to be.
The writer herself is navigating through a quarter-life crisis.
humaira.afreen@hotmail.com